This is the first edition of a new category I’m placing on BipolarNation.com called If I Ruled America.

I’m not going to walk around with signs protesting like an idiot. I’m going to put what I want in clear writing and publish it online.

With “If I Ruled America,” I’m not going to pre-suppose I was president - everything’s going to be done my way. I couldn’t get anything like what I’m about to propose done if I wasn’t an absolute dictator. I don’t need a pesky Congress filled with Nancy Pelosi’s telling me what I can and can’t spend the government’s money on.

Don’t worry, I won’t be an oppressive dictator-type, I’ll be one of those cool uncle types. In fact, no one will get to die in my America - but we’ll deal with that later.

So without any further ado, here’s what my government would be all about.

To me, the fundamental and singular responsibility of government is to defend our liberty. That’s it. The government doesn’t owe us any money, reparations, housing, insurance, retirement funds, food, water, oxygen. Our rights are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness - anything else is a bonus.

This doesn’t necessarily mean my government would be a small government. It would just be an uninterfering government.

Priority #1: Military/Defense
Now, for a moment, consider the current proposed budget for 2007 in the United States:

• $586.1 billion - Social Security
• $466.0 billion - Defense
• $394.5 billion - Medicare
• $367.0 billion - Unemployment and welfare
• $276.4 billion - Medicaid and other health related
• $243.7 billion - Interest on debt
• $89.9 billion - Education and training
• $76.9 billion - Transportation

We’re spending more money on old people than on the military. Once I ruled America, this would happen:

• $586.1 billion - Social Security

Yeah, I’m never getting elected President. See why I need to be emperor?

In response to the question “what would we do with our old people?” I simply say, “what will old people do for themselves?” Man, that’s cold. But the government owes them nothing.

After giving the “defense” budget a monstrous boost (at least doubling it), you would then see this:

• $394.5 billion - Medicare
• $367.0 billion - Unemployment and welfare
• $276.4 billion - Medicaid and other health related

While this might collapse the health industry, since many people wouldn’t be able to pay our doctors, I would first subsidize healthcare professionals (since I know a couple, eh Mom and Dad?). I’d slowly wean them off in a ten-year program, after which there’d be no subsidization and healthcare would be mostly privatized.

Note: These budget cuts are generalized. I wouldn’t COMPLETELY cut these programs, but the amount to which I would reduce them is drastic enough to be comparable.

Priority #2: Infrastructure
Even with my massive spending on the military, America would now have lots of extra money left over from the reduction of Medicaid and Social Security. Where does that go?

Towards one of the principles of military tactics: infrastructure.

As I explain in “All Day Rush Hour in NYC,” infrastructure would be my second spending priority. A country with a good infrastructure will naturally develop - and with my monstrous military already defending us, no one’s about to move in on us.

“Infrastructure” means a lot of things in Dan Kenitz’s America:

• Education (drastically reduced - that will be another article)
• Public transportation and parking (drastically improved - yet another article)
• Air transportation (Don’t get me started)
• Our highway system
• Public water
• Sewage and disposal systems
• Law enforcement
• Energy

Each of those are huge topics, most of which I’ll eventually get into - except sewage. Boring and gross.

You would receive free public transportation - busses, trains, airplanes - with your airplane use probably being limited. I’d de-privatize major bus lines and airlines. I mean, just look at the airlines. It’s not working out, America. Trains would be free, as well, and would always run on time.

Public libraries and computer access will be free, but most of your own education you yourself will be responsible for. That’s right - no more high schools or state-funded Universities. You will receive “basic education” from the government - how to read, write, add, subtract, and, in the later grades, economics - and then you’re on your own to support yourself. Your parents can do with you what you will.

So what will cost my government money are two things - transportation, and, of course, law enforcement. Law enforcement will be brutal - because the government has one responsibility - to defend liberty. Impede on someone else’s liberty and you’re going downtown. Better pay and benefits for cops, who will be trained like military officers, more cops, and lots of military intervention. If you don’t break the law, we won’t impede on your rights. But if you do break the law, go to Canada before we find out.

There will be no death penalty - only labor camps in Alaska that will make criminals wish they were dead. On the subject, abortion would be outlawed, because it would be impeding on the liberty of the clearly growing human inside of you.

Roads would be completely re-done, and a lot of major cities would be half-torn-down. Don’t worry, once the perfect infrastructure grid is laid down, making life easier for everyone, no one will complain. There will be more highways with more lanes, more predictable but inclusive interchanges, and parking in major cities will be free, provided by the government - and there will be plenty for everyone.

I’m promoting an environment where it’s completely on you to do with your life what you wish. Instead of affirmative action, I’m giving poor people free transportation to work where they want, even travel where they want. THAT’S opportunity.

Priority #3: Research
Last of all, research would be a priority. Think NASA, medicine, military technology, and energy. Research is crucial because it’s our long-term investment in the one fundamental responsibility of government - to protect your liberty. The government must be further advanced than other governments in every aspect if it’s going to be able to retain that liberty.

So, I keep hammering it in, but here’s what the government would do:

1. Military
2. Infrastructure
3. Research

I’ll talk more on each subject and it’s subpoints later on.

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