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WEAC = WEAK

Whenever someone tries to defend teachers unions, I feel like Bruce Wayne looking to the sky and seeing the Bat Signal. It’s time to clean out the scum.

Of course, none other than my former teacher Tom Zachek weighs in with a column defending WEAC, the Wisconsin Education Association Council, which roughly translated means “Group of Supervillains.”

It’s amazing how much some people dislike WEAC.

No it’s not. There are great reasons to hate teachers’ unions. The first one being that they’re teachers unions.

One e-mailer called it a “collective” (like the Borg?). Another said teachers love unionization “because you can’t think for yourselves!”

I wonder which organizations those e-mailers belong to that might encourage free thinking and not allegiance to dogma from on high. The Republican Party perhaps? The National Rifle Association? The Catholic Church?

Stereotype those who disagree with you? So open-minded of you. That a retired teacher is incapable of understanding that it’s possible to be a free thinker and also belong to the Republican Party, NRA, and/or the Catholic Church isn’t surprising.

And that’s putting his insult to a whole religion aside. Thankfully, Catholicism is a religion of peace.

For the thousandth time, parents: these are the people teaching your kids.

News media repeatedly refer to the “powerful teachers union” as if it’s somehow emptying our pockets and preventing life from being beautiful.

Well, by definition, a “teachers union” does try to prevent life from being beautiful. My definition, at least.

If WEAC is so powerful, why hasn’t it been able to get rid of the draconian QEO law? Why are teachers’ salaries singled out to be artificially controlled by the state, unlike any others? Moreover, most of the candidates WEAC endorses don’t win. (Remember Tommy Thompson?)

You’re using their anti-Tommy Thompson endorsements as evidence we should like WEAC? We’re supposed to like the WEAC because they were against the best governor we’ve had this generation? Weird argument.

WEAC is a union, yes. As if that’s a bad thing.

…it is…

Unions are responsible for eight-hour days, five-day workweeks, overtime pay, health benefits and paid vacations. Employers did not willingly surrender these benefits. They had to be won after decades of strikes and labor unrest, and companies fought these changes with goon squads and violence.

Right, unions are solely responsible. I’m the one usually getting accused of seeing things in black-and-white. Nevermind that Henry Ford used high wages to prevent turnover in his company in the era when tycoons ruled the world. It’s impossible for the free market to regulate itself! Free market bad, unions good!

Also, notice how he makes it sound like WEAC is part of a the great union legacy, as if it was the exact organization responsible for your 40-hour-workweeks. WEAC is a TEACHERS union, it’s not exactly bringing kids out of 16-hour-day sweatshops.

Again, parents: These are the people teaching your kids.

WEAC began as a professional organization, including administrators. But, like all labor unions, it was propelled into becoming a union by management. Employers who respect their employees and provide a living wage, decent benefits and working conditions have little to fear from unions.

“Living wage.” Hmm…so, if you completely crumble to union demands and a retired teacher’s definition of “living wage,” you have nothing to fear from unions. Isn’t that the same argument aggressive invading alien species make? This reads like a threat! Someone tell Andrew Carnegie!

When I started teaching, a beginning teacher with a family was eligible for food stamps. Wisconsin teachers had no collective bargaining law and no contract. It took years of strife (including the Hortonville fiasco) before teachers in Wisconsin won the right to collectively bargain.

This is what we call regression.

Imagine that. They wanted a contract that allowed them to bargain wages, hours and working conditions. Shouldn’t every profession have that?

No. I mean, unless you want janitors that only clean half the toilets and don’t get fired because they have janitor tenure.

Myths about WEAC abound. “They keep taxes high,” we hear. WEAC is hardly the sole reason property taxes are high.

WEAC is “hardly the sole reason” property taxes are high. Hardly the SOLE reason. How definitive. What stirring defense of teachers unions!

“Can’t fire teachers,” we hear. Probationary teachers can be fired for any reason. Veteran teachers can be fired for just cause.

Wow, probationary teachers can be fired for any reason? That makes them like the rest of America!

“WEAC looks out for teachers, not kids.” Yes, WEAC’s main purpose is to advocate for the welfare of its members so serious, qualified individuals are attracted to the profession. But I want my daughter taught by competent people who feel respected and rewarded. Wisconsin kids are not helped by discontented teachers who spend their evenings working second jobs or upgrading their résumés.

The side you’re coming from on this is that teachers should be able to live in an isolated and care-free environment of easy benefits and union-protected job security.

Personally, I want MY kids to be taught by someone who has something to work for. Not some commie teacher douche. (Wow, that sentence was triple redundant).

Sure, I disagree with some things WEAC does.

Well, thanks for wasting my time reading the column then. Then again, I shouldn’t expect someone who spent their lives wasting kids’ time to have done any different.

But an organization that works for quality teachers and schools is not the enemy.

Yes, it is.


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