Ladies and gentlemen, I’ve tried to deny my past for too long, but I feel I can hold the charade no longer.

That’s right. I’m a born-again Star Trek fan.

As a kid in grade school, me and a couple of friends even went so far as going to a Star Trek convention. There are pictures out there and, yes, I’m wearing the huge Vulcan ears with a smile from ear to ear.

I thought I outgrew that phase until recently. Hey, I’m a pretty cool dude, after all I have a blog so what I write must be important. Star Trek is just a part of my past, right?

Wrong, bleep!

I started watching Star Trek: The Next Generation (the finest of all Star Trek shows) again recently, and I’m remembering what attracted me to Star Trek in the first place.

It’s just undeniably awesome.

The technology, the characters, the way spaceadventuring is reduced to easily-digestible but compelling episodic happy meals. It’s all awesome. And so I’m telling the world: I’m back, baby!

In honor of the free entertainment ST:TNG (Star Trek: The Next Generation) provides me with - and I still haven’t seen all of the episodes, thank goodness - here are the top ten best nuances that make ST:TNG better than most shows.

Live long and prosper!

10. Holodeck diversions

Oh, the holodeck. Where characters can program in anything they want and live out all of their fantasies - solving the mysteries of Sherlock Holmes or fighting made-up warriors. It’s fun just to think about the possibility of such a high-tech video game.

One beauty of ST:TNG is that any old episode can randomly put you in 1940’s San Francisco or 14th Century England. My favorite quote from the holodecks is by fan-favorite Worf, who said in a Robin Hood simulation: “I am not a merry man.” Which leads me to…

9. Worf’s Rigidness

As a character on Star Trek, it can be hard to get a lot of face time. Even so, most shows don’t have 1/10th the hilarious character development of ST:TNG.

Worf is a perfect example, a Klingon out of his place in the Federation who seems annoyed by almost any human behavior. He’s like an uptight man making a guest appearance on a Lifetime talk show. Yet he oddly embraces some human effects, such as prune juice - a “warrior’s drink.” More on the greatness of Worf later.

8. Picard’s Manly Self-confidence

Picard’s motto: yeah, I’m bald. So what? The illustrious captain of the Starship Enterprise has no need for a ridiculous combover.

In fact, hidden deep in Picard is a ladies man ala Captain Kirk that rarely comes to the surface. His ship’s doctor is attracted to him, and whenever he’s on shore leave he bears his chest and spits his game without effort, leading women to chase the unattainable flagship captain. Besides, in the episode “A Matter of Perspective,” that female judge totally wants him.

7. Whoopi Goldberg

I don’t really like Whoopi Goldberg per se, but what other series can randomly insert Whoopi as a character and have it fit seamlessly into the plotlines?

6. “Spot, come here!”

See for yourself.

5. Data’s egolessness

Data, an android with capacity only for curiosity, is played to perfection by Brent Spiner as someone who is incapable of shame, guilt, or embarrassment. Whenever you feel yourself getting into a huff because of an argument, think, what would Data do?

Consider this exchange:

Troi: [alluding to Data] Sounds like you have someone in your corner, Q.

Data: [unaffected] I am merely stating the facts, Counselor.

4. Riker’s Walk

I tried to find you a clip of Riker’s signature “walking off the scene” walk, but I can’t find anything and I can’t explain it to you. Trust me, it’s hilarious.

3. Miles O’Brien’s job

Star Trek’s only major fully-Irish character has a weird job in ST:TNG - he basically stands there in the transporter room all day and waits for people who need beaming. He’s the “beam me up” guy in ST:TNG.

The funny thing is, that room is almost always empty until the main characters walk in with important business. What is O’Brien doing in there all day?

2. Deanna Troi

If she was a President, she’s be babe-raham Lincoln.

1. Riker’s many hilarious facial expressions

Jonathan Frakes is a fine actor, and in scenes he’s in as the backup to Captain Picard, I usually just watch him even if he’s not talking. You have to watch a lot of episodes to get the full gist of his funny way of entering, leaving, and watching the action around him, but let’s put it this way: this isn’t nearly the most entertaining facial expression he’s made.

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