For the Presidential election, this summer has been like the hard shell over the soft nut in the middle: finally we get to some content! Here are 10 things to watch during the Democratic Convention (that aren’t, you know, something else on TV):

Monday, August 25th

1. The attractive contributors of Fox News. This really goes for any day during the convention, but make sure to stay tuned into Fox News. Throughout the coverage, you’ll probably see the likes of Amanda Carpenter or Mary Katharine Ham.
2. Michelle Obama. She’s the featured speaker tonight. That’s right, the fist-bumpin’, baby’s-daddy-havin’, mamma jammin’ potential First Lady of the United States. She’s good for some entertainment.
3. The tribute to Senator Ted Kennedy. No making fun of him here.
4. Howard Dean speaking. There will be making fun of him, however. Byah!

Tuesday, August 26th

5. Hillary, the one-named one, speaks today, and she’s gunning for 2012, so who knows what she’ll say? It’s entirely possible both Clintons give their speaches without any gaffes and seem classy and support Barack Obama, but isn’t it also possible that somehow, somewhere along the line they try to steal some of the attention? Remember Hillary wanting to have her delegates count?
6. Potential left-wing celebrity interviews on Fox News. Yeah, by the way, I’ll be mostly watching Fox News’ coverage. Are you surprised? In 2004 at the Democratic convention, Michael Moore went on the O’Reilly Factor. Ben Afflect plans on playing poker.

Wednesday, August 27th

7. VP candidate Joe Biden. The Republicans actually have a Gaffe Watch going on him! He supports his fellow Senator, Barack America.
8. Bill Clinton.

Thursday, August 28th

9. Al Gore. Interestingly, it’s Al Gore, who’s become such a venerated figure over there, that gets to talk on the same night as Barack Obama. I wonder if he mentions MMGW.
10. Barack Obama speaking. It’s the 45th anniversary of the “I Have a Dream” speech so you know Obama will be in ultra-Obama mode, using his teleprompters like a mamma jamma and using that noble tone of voice while shaking his head. And the teleprompters may go out.

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