For the past week, Bill suspected it was coming.

Another teacher, Joe Luceman, had gotten the axe the previous Monday.  He had been a tenured teacher at one point too, but the school couldn’t justify a salary and a retirement plan that had him sailing in the Caribbean at age 52.  He could still sail in the Caribbean if he wanted; he just couldn’t do it on the school’s dime anymore.

That’s why Bill knew he was next.

“Hey Bill, I have some bad news,” said the principle, Ed Mackie, when Bill came in that afternoon.  He was tall – robust, even.  He didn’t look like an educator, but he’d been in education all of his life.  In private schools.

“It’s hard to tell you this,” Mackie said once they’d both sat down.  “And I don’t savor it.  But we’re going to have to part ways.  As you know, we don’t have the budget to maintain such a large staff every year.”

Bill wiped the skin between his eyebrows with his fingers, shaking his head slightly. “But…why is it my salary, Ed?  Why is my salary the one you can’t afford?”

“Bill-”

“How come you can afford Justin Bell but not me?”

“Hold on,” Mackie said, putting his hand up. “Look – let me explain something to you.  We have an owner at this school, and he never lets me come over budget.  Justin Bell is one of our top-performing teachers.”

“Performing?  We don’t perform, we teach!”

“Academic performance.  Your kids just don’t learn like Justin Bell’s kids do.”

“I’m a challenging teacher,” Bill said, his voice fading.

“Hey, I’m sorry,” Mackie said.  It sounded sincere.  He took a deep breath and sighed.  His dark leather chair didn’t make a sound as he leaned forward a little.  “Really.  I am.  I mean, there’s something you have to understand.  In this country, education is an industry, just like anything else that you do for a paycheck.  And this is a business decision.  We’ll, uh.  We’ll be giving you a severance package.  But there’s nothing else I can do.  We have to let you go.”

Bill felt his throat shake.  “But I used to have tenure.”

Mackie sat back in his chair, nearly shrugging before he just shook his head.  Outside, a blue-orange flag waved in the air.  Students were headed home, generally happy because they had chosen to attend this school, just as they’d chosen which backpack to wear or which beat-up car to drive.  Mackie clasped his hands over his stomach and looked over his desk at Bill.

“Not anymore.  You’re fired.”

*****

Welcome to Dantopia.

What would life be like in the ideal conservative country?

Luckily for Bill, life in Dantopia isn’t so hard.  People flock to Dantopia from all over the world to find a job.  They don’t flock to Dantopia for the unemployment benefits, the social security, or the welfare, mainly because there’s hardly any available.  They come to Dantopia because the quality of life is higher, and because barely-taxed rich people and companies are hiring.

What would the ideal conservative country look like?  What would daily life entail?  What taxes would be levied, what kind of wages would people earn, and what would the quality of life be like?

How would people get along without Mother Government intervening?

Simple.  It would get along just fine.  In fact, it would do great.  Low corporate taxes and virtually zero tariffs mean Dantopian corporations stay put.  Rich people don’t hide their accounts overseas because there’s no IRS coming after them.  Crime is low thanks to concealed carry laws and loose gun restrictions.  There’s no universal health insurance, but costs are so low no one seems to mind.  Black people look forward to continued existence – abortion is illegal and they’re not killing themselves off.

It’s not a perfect place.  Some people are poor and homeless – they’re just the envy of the world’s poor.

I believe many liberals want what’s best for the country.  They envision a liberal nation running efficiently, with easy-to-get health care for its citizens, sponsored art bringing about a lively culture, and every month celebrating some group’s diversity.

But if the liberal ideal is Sweden, what is the conservative ideal?

You’re about to learn:  Dantopia.

No Minimum Wage?  No Problem!

Bill had a tough time telling his wife he was let go. He’d been a teacher for twenty-five years.  He had even been Teacher of the Year at Flarking Smoo Memorial Public High School.

As a public school teacher, he always expected to stop working by 55.  He just never expected it to be like this.

His retirement account had been squandered by the former unDantopian government, so he needed to have an income again.  His wife, Traci, had quit teaching when she realized she could make more money selling Mary Kay products.  They still had a mortgage, doubled-down upon when Bill tried to invest in his brother-in-law’s get-rich-quick scheme and failed, and that meant Bill had to find a way to get some money coming back in.

So Bill did what he knew:  he went to the government.

Government buildings are few and far-between in Dantopia – government waste having largely been eradicated because of small budgets – but there was a well-known government center in downtown Dantopolis, and Bill thought he’d give it a try.

“Hi, there.  My name is Bill Badteacher I’d like to apply for unemployment.”

The woman behind the glass, all two hundred pounds of her, eyed him up and down.  “Are you disabled in any way?”

“No.  Why?  What does that mean?”

“Are you unable to work?”

“Yes, because I got fired.”

“Are you unable to find work?”

“I don’t know, I haven’t looked.”

The woman shook her head.  “Mr. Badteacher, I can’t give you tax money for unemployment if you are able-bodied.  My own son makes $3.15 an hour teaching senior citizens how to use Blackberries.  And he’s twelve.”

“Three-fiteen an hour?”

“Mm-hmm.”

“What about the minimum wage?”

“The what?”

“Nevermind.”

Bill kicked a can outside of the government center, but it was stuck to the ground by gum and he nearly tripped.  He looked across the street.  Every other building had a perfectly clean sidewalk.

He didn’t get more than a block before he came across a window he hadn’t noticed on the way in.  Posted outside a small hole-in-the-wall that catered to business lunches was a sign.

HELP WANTED – DISHWASHER
5 DOLLARS/HOUR.  HSA INCLUDED.

He was about to walk past it, but he remembered his second mortgage.

Five dollars an hour and a health savings account.  Not the best pay in the world.  But maybe it would do.

You know – for now.

*****

Dantopia doesn’t have a minimum wage because the government generally doesn’t tell businesses how to spend their money.  That might seem like a policy doomed to lower the quality of life for the poor and turn the whole country into a giant sweatshop, but oddly, that hasn’t happened.

In fact, if anything, the poor are better off.

The entrepreneur who could only afford a secretary if there were no such thing as a minimum wage or a payroll tax is suddenly available to afford one.  Businesses that previously shipped jobs overseas now have no incentive to do so; there are plenty of domestic out of work Joes glad to have some kind of regular work.  Unskilled workers who couldn’t land cushy  union jobs can at least find work now.

Books like David Neumark and William Wascher’s “Minimum Wages” argue that

In our view, the combined evidence is best summarized as indicating that an increase in the minimum wage largely results in a redistribution of income among low-income families, with some gaining as a result of the higher minimum wage and others losing as a result of the diminished employment opportunities or reduced hours, and some likelihood that, on net, poor or low-income families are made worse off.

In Dantopia, job cuts are less frequent because people are fine taking pay cuts instead. Unemployment is low but job opportunities are everywhere; essentially because all it takes is an employer and an employee to agree on a job for it to be created.  There is no IRS to notify.

Is everyone paid less?  They certainly pay less.  Food and gas are cheap (Dantopia drills at home, doesn’t tax gas consumption, and its gold-backed currency is gladly accepted by oil-exporting nations), health care is cheaper than in Liberalia, and there’s no income taxes, which means Bill gets to take home every dollar of that 5/hour.  Since colleges are expensive, both of Bill’s kids instead went to two-year schools and have paid off their debts with the money they now earn – one is a mechanic, the other is a hairdresser.   Bill’s only major expense is the mortgage, and he has only himself to blame for that.

It’s a Healthy Economy

Bill does have one thing going for him:  he’s a bit shameless.  Many people would have taken a look at that dishwasher job and moved right along, but Bill is a master of rationalization.  He told himself that he’d just have the job temporarily, for steady income that ensured they wouldn’t go bankrupt.  Bill’s new boss Aaron didn’t even give the fifty-four year old a second look – Bill was hired on the spot.

The following Monday, he felt like a 17-year-old burger-flipper again as he put on his white apron and began his shift near a cook named Lisa.

Lisa was short and dark-haired, attending school*, and wanted to become a dietitian; every day she was working her way up the ladder, cheerfully accepting all of the orders that come in during the busy lunch hour.  As far as co-workers go, she wasn’t so bad.

The boss, Aaron, poked his head around the corner.

“Bill, do you have a second?”

Bill walked over to an empty table with Aaron, who had a few papers ready.  Aaron sat down, smoking a cigar – in Dantopia, it’s not illegal to smoke in any restaurant. If you were asked to put out a cigarette, that just meant it was against restaurant policy. Smoking wasn’t against Aaron’s policy.

He shuffled some of the papers over to Bill.  “These are the papers for your health savings account.  It’s through Dantopia United.  It’s a $1,000 deductible, but after a few months, we contribute enough to your account where the deductible is covered.”

Bill was skeptical.  He had heard about health savings accounts before, and didn’t like them, though he didn’t particulary know why.  He knew that employees at Whole Foods had health savings accounts and that many of them were angry about having an HSA.

“So – wait,” Bill said.  “I have health insurance again?”

“Well, yeah,” Aaron said, reading it over.  “I’m kind of new to these myself, but the restaurant across the street started advertising HSAs, so I have to give them to employees if I want anyone to work for me.  Basically, it’s health insurance, and we contribute some money to it for you.  The money in the account is yours to spend on what you want – LASIK, chest hair removal, you name it.”

“And there’s a $1,000 deductible?”

“Is this going to be twenty-one questions?  I have orders to fill.”

*****

John Mackey, CEO of Whole Foods, came under fire from hippies when he introduced his health plan for his employees:  a hybrid of insurance and health savings accounts, the HSAs put people in charge of their own medical money.

Observe:

CEO John Mackey explained the appeal of these policies. “Because it’s like, ‘At last, I can go to that acupuncturist! At last, I can go to my chiropractor! At last, I can spend the money the way I want to spend it.’”

Whole Foods has an insurance policy with a high deductible. That means an employee like Braden Weirs must pay about $1,000 before his insurance kicks in. If he gets cancer or heart disease, his insurance covers it.

But if he has a sore throat or a sprained ankle, he pays.

In Dantopia, Nancy Pelosi is an unemployed grandma, not Speaker of the House, so there are no quadruple-digit-page health reform bills that take all of the power out of the peoples’ hands.

Instead, health insurance looks more like car or boat insurance.  People sell it to you in case you have a catastrophe.  If you run a higher risk of having a catastrophe, you pay more.  If you don’t have a catastrophe, you pay for something yourself, which means that you have to shop around for low prices.  If you don’t really need a surgery, you don’t get it on someone else’s dime.

Some private medical clinics work like gyms:  you pay a certain fee each month for anything that ails you.

The effect these policies have on the health industry is massive.  Prices are low – much like current LASIK prices in the U.S. keep coming down because people pay for it out of pocket.  With people paying their own medical bills, people are incentivized to stay healthy, exercise, and eat right.  Some don’t, but they pay more money down the line for the health care they need.

It’s a self-imposed behavioral tax; no government required.

Aaron, Bill’s boss at the restaurant, supplies HSAs to his employees because the restaurant across the street is doing it – he can’t hire anyone without them.  Free market competition is forcing a higher standard for workers, and Bill’s reaping the benefits simply because he took a chance on a low-paying job.

Back in real life, people at Whole Foods complained about how their health insurance worked, so he held a vote.  The result?  They kept the plan.

So, Mackey held a vote among his employees on the plan. “The result was, 77 percent of the team members voted for the health plan that we have today,” Mackey said.

The health insurance “crisis” was manufactured by government.  In current American society, free market products and services don’t have crises:  you don’t see a food shortage.  But you do see skyrocketing gas prices.  Hey, did you know the U.S. heavily regulates gas usage and drilling for oil?

Dantopia takes this principle and simply eliminates the need for crises by eliminating government involvement with the market.

Last week, Bill was unemployed with no prospects.  This week, he has a low-paying job and health insurance.  He isn’t a rags to riches story, but he does go home at night with less worry than he used to.

And something odd ends up happening:  Bill starts feeling like he’s earning it.

That’s Not a Knife.

Lisa called in – she was sick.  Bill advised her to see a doctor, but she admitted it was only a bad case of sinuses and she already bought medicine for that.  Bill was stuck at work until restaurant close at eleven.

Walking to his car that night, Bill realized that he forgot to get gas money on the way to work, so he headed to an ATM and withdraws one dollar – enough for a full tank.

The streets were dark and quiet.  Motion-activated lights only lit up Bill’s block, even in the middle of the city.

A fresh gold-backed Dantopian dollar** in hand, Bill headed up to the parking garage and headed back to the suburbs.

*****

Not a very interesting story, right?

That’s because Bill lives in Dantopia, where concealed carry laws and loose gun restrictions have brought crime down to a slow crawl.  Crime still exists, but muggers often find themselves in Crocodile Dundee “That’s not a knife” situations and subsequently have turned to other lines of work.

Dantopians have never heard of “gun-free zones.”

As Ann Coulter notes,

Only one policy has ever been shown to deter mass murder: concealed-carry laws. In a comprehensive study of all public, multiple-shooting incidents in America between 1977 and 1999, the inestimable economists John Lott and Bill Landes found that concealed-carry laws were the only laws that had any beneficial effect.

And the effect was not insignificant. States that allowed citizens to carry concealed handguns reduced multiple-shooting attacks by 60 percent and reduced the death and injury from these attacks by nearly 80 percent.

Again, Dantopia is not a perfect place.  People still get robbed, murdered, and beaten.  They’re just less likely to do it because they don’t know who’s packing heat.

Living 100% Paycheck to 100% Paycheck

Two weeks after Bill took the job at the restaurant, it was payday.  Aaron handed a check to Lisa, who tucked it inside the cover of a book she would be taking to school that night.

Bill opened his up – five dollars an hour *** for two weeks of work.  It wasn’t a lot, but he knew he’d at least be making his mortgage payment on time, just like any other month.

Curious about a line that said “75 dollars,” Bill went out to the front of the restaurant and asked Aaron about it.

“What is this, Aaron?  I thought there wasn’t any income tax in this country.”

Aaron looked over from the cash register, which he had been shuffling through carefully.

“Damn.  I just lost count.  What are you saying?”

“I’m asking what this 75 dollars is missing.  Shouldn’t I be making more?”

Aaron took the paycheck and lifted his glasses to read it clearly.  “Oh, that’s the HSA.  Your full income is all there.  No, there isn’t any income tax.”

“Oh.”

Bill went back to the kitchen, deep in thought.

“What’s up?” Lisa asked.

“I’m just doing some calculations in my head.”

“What – oh, your paycheck?  Let me see.”  Lisa took it and reviewed it.  With no social security tax and no income taxes, there wasn’t much to review.  “What are the calculations?  I’m good at math.”

“Well, between my wife and I, our mortgage is twelve hundred dollars.  I’m trying to see how much more money I’ll have to make before the beginning of next month.”

“How much does she contribute to it?”

“Six hundred.”

“Oh.  Well, looks like you’ll have about a hundred to make up for.”

“That’s what I was thinking,” Bill said, taking in breath in anticipation of a classic working-man’s sigh.

“Oh – wait!”  Lisa stood next to Bill, pointing out a line to him.  “I had that wrong.  You’ll have a hundred dollars left over this month.”

Bill looked closer.  Not satisfied, he took out a pencil and did the math.

Sure enough, Lisa was right.  He was working for five dollars an hour, and somehow he would have more money this month than what he started the month with.

Suddenly he was excited.  Imagine what he could do with that money.  Start a new retirement account.  Save up to start a business.  Put it toward that sail boat he always wanted to buy.  Start a college fund for a future grandchild.

“So what are you going to do with the money?” Lisa asked.

He had never felt so good about earning a paycheck in his life.  Every day he came home with hands that smelled like liquid soap, but after two weeks, it had been worth it.  Is this what wealth felt like?  He felt wealthy.  For once in his life, he felt productive, happy to contribute something new to the world, even if it was only a cleaner set of silverware.

“Hm.  There’s a juicemaker I always wanted to buy.”

In Dantopia, his wish was the market’s command.

*****

The whole theory behind the free-market government is simple:  people are better at ruling themselves than bureaucrats are.  So why not leave the government to the people?

That’s exactly what America was created for, and it started out as a Dantopian state of small government and low regulations.  Heck, the constitution set up the government specifically so that Congress, the President, and the Supreme Court could all cancel each other out.  Government doesn’t create wealth; it just manages it – and often poorly.

The idea behind Dantopia is a little cynical, though.  It acknowledges that people are still going to commit crimes despite my thoughts on gun control (or lack thereof).  It acknowledges that there will still be a gap between rich and poor.  In Dantopia, I still realize that people are people, and some people are just dumb.

So how does a government for the people work?

That’s kind of like asking how electricity works – we could describe it before we fully understood it.  It just works.  It’s called spontaneous order.

The beauty of a free economy is not only that it raises the general quality of life, but it allows people to make their own decisions.

Want to be a baker?  Go ahead.

Want to be a farmer?  Go ahead.

Want to create an ill-fated fusion of the bakery and the farm?  Go ahead – you just need to convince some venture capitalists it’s a good idea.

Do you know how on the news, they never report items like “Bob got his mail today” because the common, good things in life are usually not newsworthy?

Dantopia is like a whole country of that.  Small, unspectacular things comprising one large, amazing place to live.  A lot of “satisfied customer exchanges money for services” stories.  Not a lot of fancy legislation.  It’s a country of people trading, going, moving, seeing – without the high amount of paperwork and the high amount of taxes.

But it’s not all about the free market.

Civilization is built on little molecules of civilization known as “families.”  And we’ll be talking about the impact families have on the quality of life for society as a whole.

We’ll also be talking about abortion, the environment, taxes, roads, single motherhood, space exploration, education, gay marriage, and what the ideal civilization’s culture would actually look like.

What does conservatism look like when it’s unified in one society?

You’re about to find out.

—-

Notes:

*In Dantopia, school doesn’t typically last as long as it does in America, but Lisa is hoping to gain an advantage over her competition by padding her resume.  There are regulations in place for dietitians, but they are at the local/province level.

**With Dantopian currency backed by gold and low-regulated gasoline around, I suspect there’s a possibility it might even cost less than this to fill up a tank of gas.  Maybe in Dantopia, they would have Coin ATMs.

***At this point, I realize how I’m switching between how valuable Dantopian currency is and using the value of the American dollar as a reference point.  Argh!